Monday, 23 January 2017

How Much Do I Intervene in Playdates?

We've been encouraging Nathan to invite friends over for playdates to improve his social connections.  He finds the school yard intimidating, so we're working on building friendships on a one-on-one basis.

Yesterday, he had a playdate and I found myself sitting in the other room, pretending to read a book and supervise Alex, wondering if I should say something.

Nathan can be loud and he has difficulty sharing.  He has a tendency to want to save the good and fun parts for himself (for example, when playing a video game with us, we have to remind him to let us have a turn at the uncovered treasure or reward.  Or to let us solve problems on our own when he knows the solution).  So when I could hear Nathan cheering but not his friend, I wondered if Nathan was doing the same.

But I stayed put, because it's also part of the playdate that I can't be jumping up to interfere every few minutes.  Aside from the fact that it is embarassing for Nathan, it also highlights the problem in his friends' minds.  

I did pull Nathan aside twice to remind him to let his friend make choices and not always push for what Nathan wanted to do.  Because I want the playdate to be a success and the other kid to want to come back.  But in the end, they sorted it out and seemed to have a good time.

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