Every parent is a professional worrier. There's so much to take care of and whether you consider parents to be more puppetmasters or conductors, most of it falls squarely on one person's shoulders.
I try not to worry about the future, simply because there's so much to take care of in the present. And frankly, the future scares the heck out of me.
Eventually, I will have to turn Alex over to people who are paid to take care of him, whether in a day program or a home. As much as I might like to, I will not be able to take care of him myself for the rest of his life. But the thing is, no matter how dedicated or caring the staff at such places are, at the end of the day, this is their job. And there are going to be some who are in it because they want the money.
Now, I don't think they'll last long because caring for people with special needs is too hard to be worth the money paid. But there will be some in that group who will stick with it because they can't find other work. They will hate it and take it out on their charges.
We've already seen it with two of Alex's drivers. One couldn't be bothered to give even rudimentary communication or deal with basic safety issues. And the other actively tried to circumvent the regulations in place to protect Alex. Those are people who only have to deal with him for maybe 15-20 minutes each day, and they were clearly unsuited to even that small amount.
How much worse will it be when he's in someone's care for hours at a time? He's not going to be able to tell us if someone is frightening him, except by acting out, which will "justify" any punitive measures. It's a perfect trap.
And it's exhausting to think about.
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