A recent study has determined that autism can be cured by giving each family 1 million dollars per child diagnosed.
When informed, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said that this is the kind of treatment plan that the government can get behind. "It's simple and direct, with clear goals and boundaries. No one can argue with the science."
The scientists from a matching study to cure autism with strawberries were reported as being disappointed by the government's announcement. An anonymous source claims "Everybody knows the government is biased towards money studies. They can hardly talk about anything without bringing up the money side of things."