For the first time we met with the boys' teachers and weren't given a massive to-do list. They're both actually doing relatively well. There's still stuff to work on but not an overwhelming amount.
Alex's teachers are really pleased with his compliance levels and his ability to regulate himself under stress. Apparently there's another child who has developed an obsession with Alex and wants to follow him around all the time, which bothers Alex. The teachers have taught him to say "I want to play alone" and then get a teacher if it doesn't work. And they've observed him doing both independently, without any prompting.
Alex is doing well enough that they are starting to think about partial integration options. He's not ready yet but they think it might be possible for him to join the choir for the spring play or possibly join a math class with his neurotypical peers. It's a small step but a huge one, if it ends up happening. If he can tolerate a busier and more distracting environment, that would speak well to his ability to function in the general world as an adult.
Nathan is also improving. The teacher said it's been about a month since she saw a tantrum. He still gets upset and angry sometimes but he's not screaming or hitting people, which I will take as a win. Apparently she has to watch him to make sure he's not sneaking books during work time. But he's taking her correction with good grace.
For Alex, we'll continue to work on coping strategies, impulse control and toileting. The latter is a big barrier for any kind of integration. For Nathan, we're going to start teaching him to type since he still has an extraordinary amount of trouble forming his words and letters with a pencil or pen. The teacher is fine with him typing his homework (I guess she trusts us not to be doing it for him).
I'm really encouraged, which I frankly needed with the cold weather and all the difficulties recently.