Yesterday we had a meeting with Nathan's teacher to talk about his progress in school. We've asked her to keep us in the loop about his behavior, especially anything which could be termed aggression.
We were told he's had a few incidents, but nothing she would call aggressive yet. The biggest one was where he ripped up his worksheet after she asked him to do it on his own. After awhile, he taped it back together and did the work.
These sorts of things bother me. Since I was an eager academic, the thought of ripping up a paper in a teacher's face wasn't something which even crossed my mind. But I keep reminding myself that Nathan is a different person with different interests and different challenges. If the teacher feels this wasn't a red alarm siren, then I'll trust her opinion. She handled it well and Nathan eventually settled in to do the work.
The real underlying problem is that Nathan is afraid of making mistakes. Trying out new skills terrifies him and he'll beg and whine and plead not to have to do them. As someone who has struggled with perfectionist tendencies and fear of failure, that I can sympathize with. I'm trying to be gentle and not bombard him with messages but I'm also trying to let him know that everyone takes time to learn, everyone makes mistakes and that they're not a big deal.
But I suspect this will always be a challenge for him. Just like it's always been one for me.