Do I Dare Go Down the Toileting Rabbit Hole Again?

Nathan has been doing fairly well through the summer.  Earning screen time on a daily basis, a cash prize ($ 1) at the end of the successful week and a surprise toy at the end of 5 successful weeks has reduced the number of accidents down to non-existence.

Now my attention turns to Alex.  Everyone else seems to have such an easy time with keeping him dry.  He barely goes at all during therapy and managed most of his break with his grandparents.  School averaged about an accident a week last year.

But with me he seems to constantly dribble BMs and even when I prompt him to use the washroom, we get puddles.  It makes me wonder, am I just that horrible when it comes to toilet training?  Or is it that he's more comfortable with me, thus reducing the discomfort with having to go.

I ask myself if I'm ready.  Last time I went down this trail, I spent three years cleaning up constant messes and by the end of it, I was so tense and hair-triggered that I felt as if my muscles were capable of vibrating their way through solid matter.  We were averaging between 4 and 10 on a daily basis.  I was running laundry constantly despite having a giant Rubbermaid bin full of spare clothes.  I cleaned bathroom-material out of floor grates, off ceilings, out of toy bins.  I had an open bag to deal with the papertowels from puddle clean up because there was no point sealing it up after every accident.  I had to change clothes a couple times a day because of splashback or other problems.  It was horrible, no other word can describe it.  And everyone seemed very puzzled that I was having such a hard time, after all, he did so well at therapy and at home.  If I just stuck it out a little longer, they were sure it would take care of itself.

I called a halt when I found myself yelling at Alex after yet another accident.  That price wasn't worth it.  And looking back, the therapist we were working with ran out of ideas after the first 18 months.  The second half was purely "just stick with it even though its not working".

It would be so great if Alex could be trusted to go to the washroom when he needed to relieve himself.  It would be amazing if I didn't have to clean up poop anymore after doing it for the last ten years.  To get there, I know I have to go through the transition phase.

Am I ready?  I don't know.  But I need to figure it out quickly.