Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Shame and Aggression

If you read this blog regularly, you know that we've been having problems with Alex being aggressive.

Yesterday, he threw a tantrum during his therapy session and began to hit and kick the therapists working with him.

It made me feel horrible.  I hate it when he hits and kicks at me but it is a hundredfold worse if I watch him do it to someone else.  Technically, I know that this is their job, that they came into the situation knowing this was a strong possibility and were prepared for it.  But it doesn't make me feel any better.

I apologized to them and one of them said I shouldn't hold myself accountable for Alex's behaviour.  I wouldn't claim credit if he trained for a couple years and won a gold medal at the Olympics and thus I shouldn't be held accountable if he isn't behaving well.

The argument is logical and sound ... and completely wrong.

I am accountable if my child is aggressive.  Regardless of his age or choices.  I am the one responsible for raising him to express himself in a socially acceptable way.  I tell myself that I've done the best I can and that I may not have had any real chance of success, but that doesn't change my responsibility.

Regardless of how horrible it feels, I know I have to press on.  If there is to be any hope of correcting the behaviour, therapy must continue and I cannot try to sabotage it by trying to keep Alex in a good mood or standing between him and the therapists.  They need to see it in order to deal with it.

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