If you follow this blog regularly, you know we're planning a trip to Toronto this summer to participate in my sister's wedding. It'll be a three day event and Dave and I have been undergoing many debates on how to manage the boys and the expense.
We were having an argument yesterday about whether or not Nathan, our aide and I should take the train up or drive. (Dave and Alex will be driving up separately.) My point of view is that I don't want to deal with two cars in Toronto, I want the opportunity to relax somewhat during travel (as I expect to be on duty the rest of the time) and Nathan will be more excited (and hopefully travel better) with the train than the car.
Dave's point of view is that it will cost more money to take the train.
We were arguing about how sometimes it's better to spend a little more money for convenience when Dave brought up something which I thought we had resolved awhile ago. He said he thought it would be better if Alex didn't go at all, that there was little to no chance of him making it through an elaborate ceremony and late dinner.
He has a valid concern. Alex is likely to have problems and I would put the odds at about 70% of him having to leave early and return to the hotel. This is one of those eternal debates we go through: is it better to accept that Alex probably won't succeed and spare ourselves and him the potential turmoil or is it better to give him the opportunity to surpass our expectations while making preparations for failure?
I've made a number of such preparations: bringing the aide with us to give us an extra pair of hands, having Alex come up later in the weekend to give a better chance of him being fresh for the wedding, ensuring their part in the ceremony is minimal and easily skippable in case of trouble. Other preparations are just givens: making sure he has a quiet area to retreat to, bringing toys and an iPad, letting him move around during the event, bringing familiar food, scoping out parks near the venue so that he can have some running around time between the ceremony and dinner.
We'll probably always come down on different sides of this equation. Sometimes I feel it's better not to push him and sometimes it's Dave who wants to let situations lie. But at least it's something being discussed in the open.