My ancestors were Vikings, people who understood the importance of relationships. Granted, mostly of the pay-us-or-we-destroy-your-village kind, but they kept a consistent message.
The cornerstone of the Viking raid was to capture people as slaves for fun and profit.
I don't endorse slavery, but kidnapping can occasionally be a good idea.
Like tonight: I kidnapped my husband.
A last minute plan came together and I took him to see an early evening showing of Now You See Me (which was quite enjoyable, like Ocean's Eleven but with magic).
Date night can be a real challenge for us, especially lately. We've generally relied on my parents as our primary babysitters but with my father out of commission and my mother taking care of him, we've been on our own. Dave's mother has been helping out but she has her own commitments.
Aside from that, our time together has been almost non-existent with the need to keep Alex constantly supervised. His destructive impulses haven't lessened and letting him rip through the drywall into the insulation or wiring just isn't an acceptable option. We've tried our best to repair and prevent but our efforts just aren't good enough.
I'll be honest and say it's put a real strain on both of us. We're not terribly fussy but we are both used to having regular downtime together in the evening. Now that time is occupied with getting chores done which can't be dealt with during the day and supervising Alex until he goes to sleep.
So I decided to take matters into my own hands and arrange to spend some time together. Dave would have objected had I told him beforehand, not because he didn't want to see the movie or spend time together, but because he believes in getting things settled before enjoying himself.
I've come to a different philosophy about it. There are always going to be challenges and obstacles. There will never be a good time when things are settled. So I avoid the dialogue and act with the unilateral decisiveness my ancestors excelled at.
And it works. Although it goes against every precept of shared communication and planning, it works. Dave is spared the anxiety of wondering if the plan will come together or if the outing will simply make more work. I get the time out which I desperately need. We both get to spend time together.
We didn't loot and burn any villages ... but there's always next time.