Whenever I watch a film or read a book multiple times, I
always see different aspects. Depending
on where I am in my life, I see different things in them. It’s one reason I resist getting rid of books
and DVDs because I rarely believe I’ve completely exhausted the potential of a
story.
With Shawshank,
this time I noticed the foil of the two approaches to coping with prison. Andy fights to hold on to his hope and his
outside identity, even though it makes him a target for both the guards and the
other prisoners. Red and Brooks both
surrender their hope, becoming institutionalized. They accept the walls and restrictions of the
prison life, making it their home and their world. Brooks is unable to adapt to life on the
outside and commits suicide. While
acceptance and surrendering makes life inside easier, it doesn’t let them move
on afterwards.
Any long term hardship demands one of those strategies. You can fight and struggle against it,
risking wearing yourself out before the hardship ends. Or you can accept and surrender to the
inevitable, saving your energy for survival but risking being unable to survive
outside the hardship.
Raising a special needs child isn’t exactly the same as
prison, but it is a hardship. I spend an
inordinate amount of money, time and effort on helping my children with their
challenges. I also put a lot of effort
into carving out time for myself and my own goals and interests, such as
writing and craftwork. I’m fighting on
two fronts, risking burning myself out even faster. But at the same time, the cost of surrender
is too high. I have to pace myself but I
can’t stop fighting.
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