And yet, it is the simple truth. As a child, your parent, particularly your
main caregiver, is all powerful. They
control almost every aspect of your life.
And as a child, you worship your parents. You believe they got up five minutes before
you to hang the sun in the sky. There’s
nothing you believe they can’t do. They
can make the airplane land an hour early or the restaurant open up to serve
your favourite food.
Realizing your parents are human beings who make mistakes is
one of the big disillusionment of growing up.
Sometimes I wonder if that’s what fuels some of the adolescent rage we
all remember feeling. Realizing there
isn’t a all-powerful, rock-solid foundation behind you as you venture into a
frightening and uncaring world, it wouldn’t be a surprise to see anger.
I was watching a Roseanne comedy special the other night and
she was complaining about how her daughters blamed their problems in life on
her not being around as they were growing up.
Her rebuttal: “Stop bitching about me not being around. Do you have any idea how (bleep)ed up your
lives would be if I’d have taken an interest in them?” It made me laugh out loud. After all, no matter what mothers do, they
tend to reap the grief of their children, particularly their daughters.
Mothers are human. We
make mistakes, sometimes spectacular ones.
And even if your children remain silent, there are a host of experts
both professional and amateur who are willing to point out your mistakes for
you.
I believe most mothers are good intentioned. There are those who are narcissistically
self-absorbed or pathologically destructive, but most are doing their best to
raise children who turn into functioning, productive, happy adults. Maybe a good Mother’s Day gift would be to
recognize that no one has a magic formula for parenting and that raising
children is not a competitive blood sport.
So thanks, Mom, for all your efforts.
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