However, I often find I can’t stay away forever. The memory fades and the good parts come back
to me. I’ve been toying with trying
Harry Potter again for almost a year but I honestly didn’t want to go through
the emotional pain of losing fictional friends again. It’s a problem with me and my
imagination. When I find stories I love,
then the characters become real to me. I
think about them. I imagine backstories
and extra events for them. They may be
fictional, but like the Velveteen Rabbit, they become Real.
I enjoyed the first six books immensely but I was bracing
myself for the seventh book. I cried
again when Sirius died in the fifth and when Dumbledore died in the sixth. Then came the onslaught. Hedwig, Mad-Eye, Dobby, Fred, Lupin … each
and every one tragic.
But not overwhelmingly so.
Maybe it’s because I knew it was coming, rather than being
surprised with them. The first time I
read a book, I almost always rush through because I want to know what happens. I don’t have the mental space to absorb details
because I’m completely swept up in the plot.
I was able to spend more time in the ‘present’ of the book rather than
rushing ahead to the next point.
Maybe it’s because I’m older and I’ve dealt with more. Things haven’t been easy for the last five
years and I now know what it’s like to have to face overwhelming odds and keep
fighting anyway. When The Deathly Hallows came out, Alex had
just been diagnosed and my world was in the process of reforming after a
complete collapse. I needed a happy
ending, not just for Harry but for everyone.
Whatever the reason, I see the elegance and determination in
Rowling’s work now. I owe her an apology
for lumping her in with dark-minded writers who seem to genuinely enjoy kicking
their characters in the teeth while they’re down. She may have killed off a lot of characters,
but I’m now willing to bet each and every one left a mark on her. If I felt loss from my meager imaginings, she
must have felt worse since these are characters she had been working with for
over a decade.
Harry Potter can retake his place of pride among the stories
on my shelf. Welcome back, old friends. It’s good to see you again.
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